In Honor of My Daddy

Friday December 7th, 2012….. The day my daddy had anticipated with much excitement for a very long time. The day Daddy would see Jesus face to face. The day My Daddy was promoted to Heaven.
I’ll be honest, I certainly didn’t expect this day to come quite so quickly. The odd thing about it all is there was a day when it wouldn’t have affected me at all.
I was a “daddy’s girl”… When I was little I wanted to be wherever my daddy was. When I looked into his eyes, I could see love like nothing else. I knew I could do anything and still have his love. Then came the day when my parents divorced. It was very confusing to me. I only saw my daddy briefly a few times after that. I was repeatedly told, “he doesn’t love you, he doesn’t want you”…. when I would ask for him. After a while, if you hear a lie enough; you begin to think it just might be true.
Thankfully, I’m a Christian and I hear the voice of God. After many years of not seeing my daddy, I heard Jesus say, “go find your daddy, go”… I sought spiritual guidance and all agreed that yes this was in fact Jesus leading me to do this. So I did. Somewhat scared and somewhat excited.
What a special day that was! Father’s Day 2005… How fitting…And to my surprise, it was just as if we had never been apart! All the pain and loss I’d felt, the abandonment that I had been led to believe simply melted away as if it never was.
For years I wondered why I was the way I was… So different than my siblings and my mother… My desire for Jesus and The Word insatiable… It’s as if that desire almost runs me… There at The June Meeting/Father’s Day Celebration, they (family) were taking pictures of me and daddy… My Daddy told me something that is priceless to me… He whispered in my ear, “you have your Father’s smile”… I laughed and said “Daddy, I’m glad I have your smile”… He smiled with tears in his eyes he pointed to Heaven and said, “no, you have Your Heavenly Father’s smile princess”… What a wonderful thing to hear your daddy say.
Then as pictures were taken, one by one; my family would come and tell me,” you are so much like your grandmother”… “you have your granddaddy’s eyes”… Etc… Finally, I found out who I am.
You know I’m beginning to understand something about real true love from Jesus. So many times we try to keep people by our anger, bitterness, or hurt… We grip our hold on them way too hard in irrational ways for fear of losing them and our own insecurities. I was this way.. Until a few years ago.
When I finally got the understanding that Jesus really does love me! Cliche’ no. Truth Yes! True for you as well! When I got this understanding, I began to relax my hold on others. I allowed them to be themselves. I found the most awesome thing out. People will desire to be around you and love you all the more because there’s no pressure. They’re not forced into being there for you. That’s when I decided I want people to love me because they want to not because they feel obligated to me. Then it’s real and true. I can see that this came from Jesus. He wants people to love Him because they want to not because they were forced to… That’s all my daddy ever wanted too. The chance to love others just like Jesus loved him, freely & joyfully.
You see Jesus gives us all choices in many ways and areas of our lives. The choice of Heaven or Hell, the choice to love Him or not, the choice to love and serve others or not, the choice to stay here or go on with Him.
I believe my daddy was given the choice. And He chose to be with Jesus. Not because he didn’t love us here but his love for Jesus and to be with Him had grown so strong it overtook him. That’s not a bad choice. Just not the one I had wanted. But my daddy is happy with His Lord and Savior in eternal Peace with The Prince of Peace. How Awesome!!!!!
I am proud and honored to be a Russ. I am proud to be my daddy’s daughter! I am proud that my daddy served Jesus with everything in him until his dying breathe! In fact, at his service in Abingdon, VA 3 people got saved! One thing that my Daddy desired to happen… May I follow the footsteps of my daddy and all the Russ Family gone before me by honoring the name of Jesus and faithfully serve Him and love Him. One thing my Daddy used say, “one thing that I desire, that I may dwell in the House of The Lord Forever”. Me too Daddy.
I love you Daddy, and I miss you so much! You too were like your Heavenly Father.